I just remembered a story as I was reading
this article and it triggered a bunch of observations on being a parent in Kiev that have been rattling around - so here goes.
I've mentioned before that
baby wearing isn't really the thing to do in Ukraine, I've yet to really connect with baby wearers - but from the on-line forums we have similar stories.
On our way to church one
day- I'm wearing Saphira and makeup, and a skirt. I'm standing under the arches at Metro Teatralno, waiting for Alister, who went to talk to a babushka. A woman walks up to me and tries to hand me money (she thinks i'm a beggar because I am carrying my baby in a sling). I didn't take it, obviously - but its interesting all the same.
Now that Saphira is bigger, and its winter and icy, we are using the stroller and not relying on the carrier - for safety and also its not comfortable to carry her on my back over a coat and its cold carrying her in front with my coat open.
A stroller in Kiev is not an easy thing. There are stairs everywhere. We specifically got a lighter stroller so I can, for the most part, heft the stroller (with her in in it) under an arm and plough up the steps or down. Sometimes the stairs have these narrow tracks laid over them for pushing the stroller up. This is also awkward - if you are pushing the stroller increases in weight with the force of gravity and you are at a very steep and awkward angle - I find it much easier to pull it up backwards - but this is still not really "easy".
Most Ukrainian mothers go walking in groups of two. Two women with babies, or sometimes one woman with and a friend without. In this way they take turns helping each other with the stroller or standing outside the grocery store while one goes in and does the shopping and then waits with the babies while the other does the same thing.
When you have a baby - people are more polite and friendly. A Ukrainian friend who just visited the states for the first time observed that one of the strongest contrasts between here and America is that in the US the store clerks talk to you and have whole conversations with you as easy as you please and here - well, lets just say words are at a minimum.
When you have a baby, the clerks talk to you - or at least talk to the child. Clicking and cooing and telling the baby how lovely she is. People in line around you do the same thing. BUT for the most part, the conversation is directed to the baby.
One woman, with another baby who spotted my baby,came over and showed her baby my baby and told her baby how nice my baby was because she wasn't fussing or crying and she should do the same. I smiled and asked the woman how old her child was and the woman acted like I had descended from outer space. Now, i have reviewed the conversation in my mind, and I am convinced that i made no odd grammatical errors - I must have just crossed the politically correct border of conversation because I talked to the mother directly instead of addressing my question through the infant.
Yesterday too, I was standing in line (carrying Saphira) and a man hurried past and bumped into me. This was rather rude, but not unheard of. What was unheard of is that when I finished paying and was getting my stuff together and all balanced, he was standing there waiting and actually apologized and said he had been in a hurry and he was sorry (why he was waiting when he said he was in a hurry??) and then he went off. To get an apology - a real apology - is a rarity - but to have someone wait and give you an apology - that's a regular miracle.
Now that its cold, everyone is asking me (via Saphira) if she has frozen. (ты замерзла?) Obviously, I wouldn't take her out if she was going to freeze - and I'm never quite sure how to respond or what to say. I normally stick with - no she's warm.
